Thankfully I only have 9 days until Christmas break. I would say I'm hanging in there, but I'm really not. Everyday is a struggle. I actually called in sick one day this week because I'm just so physically & mentally exhausted, along with the fact that I am completely unmotivated. I have no spark in me, no drive, no ambition. Being a teacher has definitely become "just a job" to me. Sad, but true. I hate that it came to this point. The only reason I make myself go to work everyday is because I have to get a paycheck.
I'm still sending out resumes. I had a few close calls, but nothing definite yet. I applied to a job of a lifetime at a very large greenhouse. The salary would double what I earn now and I would be working in an industry that I realize is truly my passion. I called them to make sure they received my resume and they said they planned to call me in the near future to set up an interview. I pray everyday and keep my fingers crossed that they'll call me soon.
Until then, I will continue to do what the public school system has trained me to do best - be a classroom manager. I really just supervise kids everyday. It's a little more than babysitting, but really, most of my time is spent testing the kids and then analyzing how they performed on the test.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
I am a crashed computer
So here it is, November. I went into this school year with a GREAT attitude. After working with my colleague all summer long, planning our curriculum for this school year, I was ready to face this year head-on and headstrong. I was determined to do everything in my power to not only get my kids to learn enough to pass this stinkin' state test, but also help our school get out of "school improvement" status...otherwise, the state will take control of our school next year.
Everything came crashing down since then. After all the stress, and the endless paperwork, and all the new mandates by our administration, I had one final breaking point. Within a 30 minute period, I went from 110% to 25%. All of my passion, all of my motivation, all of my drive - gone.
Our state has adopted this new teacher evaluation program that is being implemented in our school this year. It's bad enough that I can't transfer, I haven't received a raise in two years, my workload has actually increased due to budget cuts and our school status, but now I actually have to be subjected to this rigorous evaluation system that nit-picks at every single aspect of me as a teacher. You can view it here: http://www.ncpublicschools.org/docs/profdev/training/teacher/teacher-eval.pdf Pay close attention to pages starting at #25.
My principal decided we needed to be trained on this, which is a good thing, because it's really wordy. Pretty overwhelming from our perspective. The problem with this is: when exactly is he going to train us? We are already swamped in after school meetings, and he would be slaughtered if he suggested we come in on the weekend. So, he decides he would pull us out of class during the school day. No, no, no. It's okay. He sent assistants to cover our classes. Because I don't actually do anything in the classroom. I just give my kids some activities to do and anyone can come in and take over for me. (please notice that this is drenched with sarcasm)
Well, when it was time for our meeting, no one came to cover my class. They continued the meeting without me (the meeting included 3rd and 5th grade teachers). After 15-20, the Assistant Principal came to my room looking for me. I just shrugged my shoulders, knowing I had no control over the situation. Someone finally arrived and I went to the meeting place. My principal tried to recap what had already been discussed, but I was already tuning him out. I was frustrated. After 15 minutes (hardly enough time to teach us how the new evaluation would be used on us), we had to stop because it was time for us to take our kids to lunch. Our principal asked if we would like to continue our meeting during our lunch so we didn't have to stay after school. Three of us very clearly stated "NO", we would prefer NOT to meet during our lunch - that is our only break! Well, they decided they would continue the meeting during our lunch anyway.
This is when you would have seen that "blue screen of death" if I were a computer. I went blank, crash, system failure.
The incident that made everything crash was not really that significant. I am like a computer - I just got overloaded with "applications". My brain couldn't take it anymore. My husband likes to fuss at me when I have too many programs activated on the toolbar on our home computer, and if you look at the "CPU usage" you might see that it is operating at 90% or so. Well, you keep pushing your computer and constantly opening programs asking it to do more than it is capable, then it will crash. That's what happened to me.
So, I'm done. Again, for the fourth year in a row, I'm starting to submit my resumes to anything I think I am qualified to do, hoping I can find a job that matches my salary - which shouldn't be too hard considering I only make $31,000/yr.
Everything came crashing down since then. After all the stress, and the endless paperwork, and all the new mandates by our administration, I had one final breaking point. Within a 30 minute period, I went from 110% to 25%. All of my passion, all of my motivation, all of my drive - gone.
Our state has adopted this new teacher evaluation program that is being implemented in our school this year. It's bad enough that I can't transfer, I haven't received a raise in two years, my workload has actually increased due to budget cuts and our school status, but now I actually have to be subjected to this rigorous evaluation system that nit-picks at every single aspect of me as a teacher. You can view it here: http://www.ncpublicschools.org/docs/profdev/training/teacher/teacher-eval.pdf Pay close attention to pages starting at #25.
My principal decided we needed to be trained on this, which is a good thing, because it's really wordy. Pretty overwhelming from our perspective. The problem with this is: when exactly is he going to train us? We are already swamped in after school meetings, and he would be slaughtered if he suggested we come in on the weekend. So, he decides he would pull us out of class during the school day. No, no, no. It's okay. He sent assistants to cover our classes. Because I don't actually do anything in the classroom. I just give my kids some activities to do and anyone can come in and take over for me. (please notice that this is drenched with sarcasm)
Well, when it was time for our meeting, no one came to cover my class. They continued the meeting without me (the meeting included 3rd and 5th grade teachers). After 15-20, the Assistant Principal came to my room looking for me. I just shrugged my shoulders, knowing I had no control over the situation. Someone finally arrived and I went to the meeting place. My principal tried to recap what had already been discussed, but I was already tuning him out. I was frustrated. After 15 minutes (hardly enough time to teach us how the new evaluation would be used on us), we had to stop because it was time for us to take our kids to lunch. Our principal asked if we would like to continue our meeting during our lunch so we didn't have to stay after school. Three of us very clearly stated "NO", we would prefer NOT to meet during our lunch - that is our only break! Well, they decided they would continue the meeting during our lunch anyway.
This is when you would have seen that "blue screen of death" if I were a computer. I went blank, crash, system failure.
The incident that made everything crash was not really that significant. I am like a computer - I just got overloaded with "applications". My brain couldn't take it anymore. My husband likes to fuss at me when I have too many programs activated on the toolbar on our home computer, and if you look at the "CPU usage" you might see that it is operating at 90% or so. Well, you keep pushing your computer and constantly opening programs asking it to do more than it is capable, then it will crash. That's what happened to me.
So, I'm done. Again, for the fourth year in a row, I'm starting to submit my resumes to anything I think I am qualified to do, hoping I can find a job that matches my salary - which shouldn't be too hard considering I only make $31,000/yr.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
State Testing Scores
State Testing Scores mean jack crap, just in case you didn't know. Many parents decide which schools are the "better" schools by examining state test scores. This is VERY misleading and a grossly inaccurate way to assess the quality of the public school and its teachers. Here's two scenarios:
HIGH PERFORMING SCHOOL
My very first teaching position was in an elementary school on the wealthier side of a big city. Most of the children came from two-parent homes, where the majority of those parents were both college graduates. I had 28 students and all but ONE had computers at home. ALL of the parents came to the parent-teacher conferences, or at least made contact by letter or phone. Every child except two were reading at or above grade level - and the two who weren't: one was from a low-income single parent home from the very small pocket of "lower-end" apartment homes on the edge of our school zoning; the other was a hispanic boy whose parents didn't speak any English and he had lived in the U.S. for maybe a year. I had parents visiting daily, volunteering for EVERYTHING, and not only everpresent in their children's lives, but in mine as well!
The teachers in this school weren't spectacular. I don't think they were necessarily horrible, but I didn't see any fabulous teaching going on. For the most part, we taught straight from the text book - absolutely nothing creative or innovative about that. ALL students who took the state test passed. I mean they should have, that school has a 99% pass rate (I'm surprised it's not 100%).
LOW PERFORMING SCHOOL
My second school (and my current school) is once again in the "inner-city" of our county. It a very low-income population where the majority of families are on welfare. I would say about 3 students in my classroom have computers at home. The majority of the students come from single parent homes, multi-family homes, or both. Most parents did not finish high school, much less go to college. Many residences in our area are rental homes (average $400/mo) or government housing. It is also a very high-transient area because families move from place to place due to jobs, eviction, etc. Therefore, out of 20 students in a class, an average of 5 students will leave and 5 new students will come in throughout the course of the school year. In our K-5 school, only 50% of our students have been there since Kindergarten, maybe even less. Many students have been to a different school every year, some have moved to three or four during one school year. I might have 5 or 6 parents show up to parent-teacher conferences, maybe more if I harrass them. At least half of my class will be below grade level in reading, one fourth of them will be at least two grade levels below. Many students do not have basic Math skills and some still count on their fingers by the time they get to 5th grade. Most of the parents do not make their children complete their homework, and if they bring home failing grades on their tests, the children are not given any consequences or reprimands at home. There were rarely phone calls to me or notes requesting conferences.
Now the teachers in our school are pretty miraculous - not all of them, but the majority of the staff in this school are very intelligent, creative, hard-working, & dedicated teachers. You won't walk into many of the classrooms and see students working out of textbooks or on worksheets. They are working in centers and in small groups, they are participating in hands-on activities and using technology (side note: even with massive budget cuts last year, we still managed to each get a fabulous SmartBoard in our classrooms. Apparantly, that stimulus money sent down to our state was earmarked for technology. Thanks Obama!) There's all sorts of creative things happening in the classroom. I had TWO students out of 21 pass the state test, six students after retesting. We have about a 33% passing rate in our school. We are currently in our third year of School Improvement - if we don't make fantastic improvements this coming year, the state will come in and intervene...and that could mean anything :(
So, do you see? Obviously there is a direct correlation between parenting/homelife and school performance. But from the outside looking in, our society is ready to judge the school and the staff when students are not passing these state tests.
I would say the ONLY reason I would not want my own child to attend my school is for this reason: unfortunately, there is also a direct correclation between parenting/homelife and behavior. Many of my students come in using words I didn't even know existed until I was in high school. One of our third graders was suspended three times for sexual harrassment (touching girls inapproprately in private places). Our children do not get much discipline at home, if any. On top of working to get our children on grade level (yes, even those two grade levels below in reading and not able to add or subtract), we are also their primary disciplinarians...yay. I wouldn't want my own child exposed to the behaviors I have seen and dealt with.
So the next time you hear someone compare the quality of the school and its teachers because of test scores, you know what to tell them.
HIGH PERFORMING SCHOOL
My very first teaching position was in an elementary school on the wealthier side of a big city. Most of the children came from two-parent homes, where the majority of those parents were both college graduates. I had 28 students and all but ONE had computers at home. ALL of the parents came to the parent-teacher conferences, or at least made contact by letter or phone. Every child except two were reading at or above grade level - and the two who weren't: one was from a low-income single parent home from the very small pocket of "lower-end" apartment homes on the edge of our school zoning; the other was a hispanic boy whose parents didn't speak any English and he had lived in the U.S. for maybe a year. I had parents visiting daily, volunteering for EVERYTHING, and not only everpresent in their children's lives, but in mine as well!
The teachers in this school weren't spectacular. I don't think they were necessarily horrible, but I didn't see any fabulous teaching going on. For the most part, we taught straight from the text book - absolutely nothing creative or innovative about that. ALL students who took the state test passed. I mean they should have, that school has a 99% pass rate (I'm surprised it's not 100%).
LOW PERFORMING SCHOOL
My second school (and my current school) is once again in the "inner-city" of our county. It a very low-income population where the majority of families are on welfare. I would say about 3 students in my classroom have computers at home. The majority of the students come from single parent homes, multi-family homes, or both. Most parents did not finish high school, much less go to college. Many residences in our area are rental homes (average $400/mo) or government housing. It is also a very high-transient area because families move from place to place due to jobs, eviction, etc. Therefore, out of 20 students in a class, an average of 5 students will leave and 5 new students will come in throughout the course of the school year. In our K-5 school, only 50% of our students have been there since Kindergarten, maybe even less. Many students have been to a different school every year, some have moved to three or four during one school year. I might have 5 or 6 parents show up to parent-teacher conferences, maybe more if I harrass them. At least half of my class will be below grade level in reading, one fourth of them will be at least two grade levels below. Many students do not have basic Math skills and some still count on their fingers by the time they get to 5th grade. Most of the parents do not make their children complete their homework, and if they bring home failing grades on their tests, the children are not given any consequences or reprimands at home. There were rarely phone calls to me or notes requesting conferences.
Now the teachers in our school are pretty miraculous - not all of them, but the majority of the staff in this school are very intelligent, creative, hard-working, & dedicated teachers. You won't walk into many of the classrooms and see students working out of textbooks or on worksheets. They are working in centers and in small groups, they are participating in hands-on activities and using technology (side note: even with massive budget cuts last year, we still managed to each get a fabulous SmartBoard in our classrooms. Apparantly, that stimulus money sent down to our state was earmarked for technology. Thanks Obama!) There's all sorts of creative things happening in the classroom. I had TWO students out of 21 pass the state test, six students after retesting. We have about a 33% passing rate in our school. We are currently in our third year of School Improvement - if we don't make fantastic improvements this coming year, the state will come in and intervene...and that could mean anything :(
So, do you see? Obviously there is a direct correlation between parenting/homelife and school performance. But from the outside looking in, our society is ready to judge the school and the staff when students are not passing these state tests.
I would say the ONLY reason I would not want my own child to attend my school is for this reason: unfortunately, there is also a direct correclation between parenting/homelife and behavior. Many of my students come in using words I didn't even know existed until I was in high school. One of our third graders was suspended three times for sexual harrassment (touching girls inapproprately in private places). Our children do not get much discipline at home, if any. On top of working to get our children on grade level (yes, even those two grade levels below in reading and not able to add or subtract), we are also their primary disciplinarians...yay. I wouldn't want my own child exposed to the behaviors I have seen and dealt with.
So the next time you hear someone compare the quality of the school and its teachers because of test scores, you know what to tell them.
Monday, August 2, 2010
WHAT?!?!
I was in Wal-Mart today with my husband looking at external hard-drives in the electronics department. For some reason, I can spot a teacher a mile away (my mom was a real estate agent and we could do the same with them). I look over my shoulder and I see an older lady with a younger one looking at some computer accessories. I thought, "Hey, there's a teacher," and sure enough, one of them was wearing a school district nametag. As I'm passing by, the older lady with the nametag introduces the younger asian woman to the Wal-Mart employee - "Hi, this is (so-and-so) from our teacher exchange program." Instantly, I look at my husband and say, "WHAT!?!?" plus some other expletives.
Everyone in school systems across the entire country is suffering one way or another from the economy and BUDGET CUTS. How in the hell can our school district afford a teacher exchange program?!?! Not only that! WHY are we hiring teachers from outside of our country but cutting teachers in our own schools! I AM LIVID!
Two years ago when all you-know-what was about to hit the fan with these massive budget cuts, salary freezes, and teacher cuts, one of the first teachers in our school let go was from Jamaica. She was teaching in our school under a similar (if not the same) teacher exchange program. We were told that the program was terminated because of budget cuts and she would have to move back home as soon as the school year was over.
I just don't get it. PLEASE someone help me understand!
Everyone in school systems across the entire country is suffering one way or another from the economy and BUDGET CUTS. How in the hell can our school district afford a teacher exchange program?!?! Not only that! WHY are we hiring teachers from outside of our country but cutting teachers in our own schools! I AM LIVID!
Two years ago when all you-know-what was about to hit the fan with these massive budget cuts, salary freezes, and teacher cuts, one of the first teachers in our school let go was from Jamaica. She was teaching in our school under a similar (if not the same) teacher exchange program. We were told that the program was terminated because of budget cuts and she would have to move back home as soon as the school year was over.
I just don't get it. PLEASE someone help me understand!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Discrimination is still alive and well in public schools
No one is intentially segregating our schools...at least not that they would admit to. Our children are being severely discriminated, both racially and economically. My school is old, built in the 60's. On most days, the hallways smell like urine or dirty mop water. The walls are dingy and dirty, the paint is peeling off the walls and doors. Up until last year, we still had asbestos in our ceiling and floor tiles.
Now I can't tell you we don't have books or computers. Fortunately, because we are a low-income school, we do receive Title 1 funds that purchase reading materials, learning resources, and technology. However, I think the facility that we offer our children is just as important as the learning materials inside. Would you feel motivated to attend school if your school looked like a dungeon? And my school is not the worst in our county.
I can't escape the feeling that my children are being disadvantaged by their own school system, when I look across town at the "better schools" with a whiter population (you can't tell me I'm being racist, I AM white), higher test scores, and parents with more money.
I've felt this for awhile, but recently, I visited my friend's school and it literally made me sick. She used to teach with me, but her husband being in the military, they relocated a year ago. She now lives near a tourist area for the ritzy, yuppy people. This is the place you go when you want to visit the beach, but you are too good for "normal" beaches for common people. We made a stop at her new school. I wish I had taken pictures, because I don't know if I can desribe it in words. Let's just say, it's the Taj Mahal of elementary schools. The floors, the fixtures, the furniture, the lighting, the LIBRARY...if you can imagine what an elite law firm office building might look like, I'd say that would be a good comparison. And the playground - things like that may not seem important to you as far as education is concerned, but think about the eyes of a child. Would YOU want to go to a school like THAT? Oh yeah, that's what I thought.
I looked around and was amazed. I wanted to be so happy for my close friend who had this wonderful opportunity in this school. But I confessed to her, "I am so glad that you are here. This is an absolutely beautiful school. But I am sick to my stomach because this is disgusting." And she used to teach at my school so she knows exactly where I'm coming from. I couldn't say much if this were a private school...but it wasn't. Another public elementary school paid with American's tax dollars. The teachers don't get paid any more or any less to teach there. How could two PUBLIC schools be SO different?
In a child's mind, they don't think "Oh look at all those books, I wish I could go to THAT school." No, if they took one look at the inside of that school and the awesome playground, their parents wouldn't have to fight with them to go to school.
So, my point is, I am responsible for teaching a group of children who already have the cards stacked against them: multi-family homes, low-income, parents who are never home because they work multiple jobs, parents who don't help with school-work because either they don't want to, don't know how to, don't have the time, or all of the above. These are children that live adult lives in a child's body. What motivates them to come to school, much less do well in school? There's only so much a teacher can do. If you were one of my kids, would you be motivated to come to school and be your best in the dirty, dingy school? Maybe you would in the Taj Mahal school?
Now I can't tell you we don't have books or computers. Fortunately, because we are a low-income school, we do receive Title 1 funds that purchase reading materials, learning resources, and technology. However, I think the facility that we offer our children is just as important as the learning materials inside. Would you feel motivated to attend school if your school looked like a dungeon? And my school is not the worst in our county.
I can't escape the feeling that my children are being disadvantaged by their own school system, when I look across town at the "better schools" with a whiter population (you can't tell me I'm being racist, I AM white), higher test scores, and parents with more money.
I've felt this for awhile, but recently, I visited my friend's school and it literally made me sick. She used to teach with me, but her husband being in the military, they relocated a year ago. She now lives near a tourist area for the ritzy, yuppy people. This is the place you go when you want to visit the beach, but you are too good for "normal" beaches for common people. We made a stop at her new school. I wish I had taken pictures, because I don't know if I can desribe it in words. Let's just say, it's the Taj Mahal of elementary schools. The floors, the fixtures, the furniture, the lighting, the LIBRARY...if you can imagine what an elite law firm office building might look like, I'd say that would be a good comparison. And the playground - things like that may not seem important to you as far as education is concerned, but think about the eyes of a child. Would YOU want to go to a school like THAT? Oh yeah, that's what I thought.
I looked around and was amazed. I wanted to be so happy for my close friend who had this wonderful opportunity in this school. But I confessed to her, "I am so glad that you are here. This is an absolutely beautiful school. But I am sick to my stomach because this is disgusting." And she used to teach at my school so she knows exactly where I'm coming from. I couldn't say much if this were a private school...but it wasn't. Another public elementary school paid with American's tax dollars. The teachers don't get paid any more or any less to teach there. How could two PUBLIC schools be SO different?
In a child's mind, they don't think "Oh look at all those books, I wish I could go to THAT school." No, if they took one look at the inside of that school and the awesome playground, their parents wouldn't have to fight with them to go to school.
So, my point is, I am responsible for teaching a group of children who already have the cards stacked against them: multi-family homes, low-income, parents who are never home because they work multiple jobs, parents who don't help with school-work because either they don't want to, don't know how to, don't have the time, or all of the above. These are children that live adult lives in a child's body. What motivates them to come to school, much less do well in school? There's only so much a teacher can do. If you were one of my kids, would you be motivated to come to school and be your best in the dirty, dingy school? Maybe you would in the Taj Mahal school?
Why am I a teacher?
When I tell other people that I am a teacher, most often their response is, "Oh I pity you! I would not do your job for a million dollars!" or "I have the utmost respect for you. You couldn't pay me to do your job." Then, when I tell them where I teach, their reaction is pretty consistent - they make a face, curl their noses up, and say, "ohhh" sympathetically as if I told them I just stepped in dog crap.
I teach 3rd Grade in an elementary school that does not have a great reputation. Our school is known for poor state test scores and badly behaved kids. Many of the parents of our students have mugshots on the "Who Got Arrested" section of our online newspaper. I know, I know, it's VERY inappropriate and insensitive, but it has become somewhat of a hobby for teachers at our school to find which parent's mugshot shows up this week and why they got arrested. The charges range from driving with a revoked license to possession of marijuana. Whoever heard of "innocent until proven guilty"? Not anymore, because if you get arrested and your mugshot is plastered online, you are already guilty...you've already been humiliated.
I've been teaching in a Title 1 school in a low-income area for the past 3 years. If my town has an "inner-city", we are in it...however,I use that term pretty loosely. I've never personally visited an inner-city school, much less been in an area that would truly be considered that.
Someone asked me the other day if I liked being a teacher. I hesitated, I stumbled, I had a really difficult time verbalizing an answer. What finally came out? "I really want to love it, but it's hard to love a job when people keep throwing bricks at you."
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have mentally quit teaching. My colleagues and I now joke about which job I'm going to apply for next and how many times I'm going to quit this school year. It's true, in the past three years, I have submitted my resume to many different places including Scholastic Books, all the public libraries, local colleges, and anything else that I think might pay my whopping salary of $31,000/yr.
I got into an online dispute with another reader of our local newspaper a couple months ago. You know, most online newspapers allow readers to comment on articles. After another article was posted about budget cuts in education, I was rambling on and on about how public education sucks. One reader comments, "So why don't you just quit if you hate your job so much? I wouldn't want YOU teaching MY kid with that kind of attitude!" First of all, just because I hate my job, doesn't mean that I don't try to do it well. I work my butt off for those kids. I haven't physically quit for two reasons: I am an adult with financial responsibilities and cannot just quit my job AND I actually love my children. They are the reason why I am a teacher. If the public school system would let me just TEACH, I might love my job one day.
It's funny to me, because I have RARELY applied for job and not been hired...but since becoming a teacher, every single job for which I have applied and interviewed has turned me down. So there are two speculations, either there is a conspiracy against hiring teachers, or God himself is reminding me that THIS is my calling. My colleague and I believe it's probably the latter.
Okay God, I understand...but something has got to give. This job is going to put me in the grave if this stress doesn't let up. I would really like to have a child of my own before I'm 40, but when will I have time at this rate? And most importantly, my latest motto was adopted from a cute little plaque I bought at a home store - "Don't ever get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."
I teach 3rd Grade in an elementary school that does not have a great reputation. Our school is known for poor state test scores and badly behaved kids. Many of the parents of our students have mugshots on the "Who Got Arrested" section of our online newspaper. I know, I know, it's VERY inappropriate and insensitive, but it has become somewhat of a hobby for teachers at our school to find which parent's mugshot shows up this week and why they got arrested. The charges range from driving with a revoked license to possession of marijuana. Whoever heard of "innocent until proven guilty"? Not anymore, because if you get arrested and your mugshot is plastered online, you are already guilty...you've already been humiliated.
I've been teaching in a Title 1 school in a low-income area for the past 3 years. If my town has an "inner-city", we are in it...however,I use that term pretty loosely. I've never personally visited an inner-city school, much less been in an area that would truly be considered that.
Someone asked me the other day if I liked being a teacher. I hesitated, I stumbled, I had a really difficult time verbalizing an answer. What finally came out? "I really want to love it, but it's hard to love a job when people keep throwing bricks at you."
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have mentally quit teaching. My colleagues and I now joke about which job I'm going to apply for next and how many times I'm going to quit this school year. It's true, in the past three years, I have submitted my resume to many different places including Scholastic Books, all the public libraries, local colleges, and anything else that I think might pay my whopping salary of $31,000/yr.
I got into an online dispute with another reader of our local newspaper a couple months ago. You know, most online newspapers allow readers to comment on articles. After another article was posted about budget cuts in education, I was rambling on and on about how public education sucks. One reader comments, "So why don't you just quit if you hate your job so much? I wouldn't want YOU teaching MY kid with that kind of attitude!" First of all, just because I hate my job, doesn't mean that I don't try to do it well. I work my butt off for those kids. I haven't physically quit for two reasons: I am an adult with financial responsibilities and cannot just quit my job AND I actually love my children. They are the reason why I am a teacher. If the public school system would let me just TEACH, I might love my job one day.
It's funny to me, because I have RARELY applied for job and not been hired...but since becoming a teacher, every single job for which I have applied and interviewed has turned me down. So there are two speculations, either there is a conspiracy against hiring teachers, or God himself is reminding me that THIS is my calling. My colleague and I believe it's probably the latter.
Okay God, I understand...but something has got to give. This job is going to put me in the grave if this stress doesn't let up. I would really like to have a child of my own before I'm 40, but when will I have time at this rate? And most importantly, my latest motto was adopted from a cute little plaque I bought at a home store - "Don't ever get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."
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