When I tell other people that I am a teacher, most often their response is, "Oh I pity you! I would not do your job for a million dollars!" or "I have the utmost respect for you. You couldn't pay me to do your job." Then, when I tell them where I teach, their reaction is pretty consistent - they make a face, curl their noses up, and say, "ohhh" sympathetically as if I told them I just stepped in dog crap.
I teach 3rd Grade in an elementary school that does not have a great reputation. Our school is known for poor state test scores and badly behaved kids. Many of the parents of our students have mugshots on the "Who Got Arrested" section of our online newspaper. I know, I know, it's VERY inappropriate and insensitive, but it has become somewhat of a hobby for teachers at our school to find which parent's mugshot shows up this week and why they got arrested. The charges range from driving with a revoked license to possession of marijuana. Whoever heard of "innocent until proven guilty"? Not anymore, because if you get arrested and your mugshot is plastered online, you are already guilty...you've already been humiliated.
I've been teaching in a Title 1 school in a low-income area for the past 3 years. If my town has an "inner-city", we are in it...however,I use that term pretty loosely. I've never personally visited an inner-city school, much less been in an area that would truly be considered that.
Someone asked me the other day if I liked being a teacher. I hesitated, I stumbled, I had a really difficult time verbalizing an answer. What finally came out? "I really want to love it, but it's hard to love a job when people keep throwing bricks at you."
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have mentally quit teaching. My colleagues and I now joke about which job I'm going to apply for next and how many times I'm going to quit this school year. It's true, in the past three years, I have submitted my resume to many different places including Scholastic Books, all the public libraries, local colleges, and anything else that I think might pay my whopping salary of $31,000/yr.
I got into an online dispute with another reader of our local newspaper a couple months ago. You know, most online newspapers allow readers to comment on articles. After another article was posted about budget cuts in education, I was rambling on and on about how public education sucks. One reader comments, "So why don't you just quit if you hate your job so much? I wouldn't want YOU teaching MY kid with that kind of attitude!" First of all, just because I hate my job, doesn't mean that I don't try to do it well. I work my butt off for those kids. I haven't physically quit for two reasons: I am an adult with financial responsibilities and cannot just quit my job AND I actually love my children. They are the reason why I am a teacher. If the public school system would let me just TEACH, I might love my job one day.
It's funny to me, because I have RARELY applied for job and not been hired...but since becoming a teacher, every single job for which I have applied and interviewed has turned me down. So there are two speculations, either there is a conspiracy against hiring teachers, or God himself is reminding me that THIS is my calling. My colleague and I believe it's probably the latter.
Okay God, I understand...but something has got to give. This job is going to put me in the grave if this stress doesn't let up. I would really like to have a child of my own before I'm 40, but when will I have time at this rate? And most importantly, my latest motto was adopted from a cute little plaque I bought at a home store - "Don't ever get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."
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